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Posts tagged with "Psychiatry"

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Incredibly Narcissistic Patient with Dementia Remains Oriented Only to Self

In what can only be described as a sickening display of pure narcissism, Gertrude Walters, an 82 year-old woman with advanced dementia, has remained oriented only to herself for the third hospital day in a row. Ms. Walters was sent from her nursing home, where she requires assistance with nearly all of her activities of daily living, to...
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Montana Psychiatrist Arrested for Hosting Underground “Emotional Support Animal Fights”

Bozeman, MT – The wild west just became wild again! Dr. Samuel Oaks, a college psychiatrist at Montana State University was arrested for hosting underground “Emotional Support Animal Fights” for his patients. It all started as an innocent quarrel between two patients arguing over a seat in the waiting room. As the...
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Psych Ward Temporarily Closes after Admitting a Patient with COPD

Charleston, WV – The Psychiatric Inpatient Unit at Memorial Hospital has temporarily closed due to an unplanned, insidious event. “The day started off as an ordinary day. I came into to work, received report from the night nurse, and then proceeded to take care of my patients. But then during team meeting…” At...
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Clinically-Depressed Resident Not Flexible Enough for Yoga

TAMPA, FL – In a sad and tragic turn of events, local resident doctor James Hilden was told that he would never fully be cured from his depression due to his inability to participate in yoga.  Dr. Hilden, who lacked the flexibility to maintain even the most basic child’s pose, was thought to be a hopeless...
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Move over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here! FEATURED

Move over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!

March 21st, 201904 Given the overarching success of the Pain score leading to the opoid crisis, The Joint Commission (for healthcare absurdity) has now added the sixth vital sign in the form of the Crazy Score. It is designed to help all healthcare providers recognize if patients or their family members are nuts and to quantify this in a way that is...
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Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals FEATURED

Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals

January 19th, 201902 PITTSBURGH, PA – Sometimes it’s better to acknowledge one’s own shortcomings and move on.  That is why we’re saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha Boots, for summoning the strength and courage to do something all of us have always wanted to do: she tossed the tall stack of unread New England Journal of...
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Valium Advent Calendar Being Tested by Local Pharmaceutical Company FEATURED

Valium Advent Calendar Being Tested by Local Pharmaceutical Company

December 23rd, 201803 Salt Lake City, Utah – Parents will be able to count down the days until Christmas in a much more soothing manner this season. A local pharmaceutical company has started distributing advent calendars filled with Valium, a medication known for its calming effect commonly used in treating anxiety. According to Ann Ziety, the CEO of...
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New DSM to classify hearing a diastolic murmur as an auditory hallucination FEATURED

New DSM to classify hearing a diastolic murmur as an auditory hallucination

December 2nd, 201805 Dubuque, Iowa – following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the issue through the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The 6th edition reportedly will be physician-friendly and address...
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New DSM to classify hearing a diastolic murmur as an auditory hallucination FEATURED

New DSM to classify hearing a diastolic murmur as an auditory hallucination

December 2nd, 2018016 Dubuque, Iowa – following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the issue through the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). The 6th edition reportedly will be physician-friendly and address...
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