July 13th, 201801Kearney, NE – With options dwindling, all hopes rest on the heroic divers who saved the boys in Thailand to locate a 600lb man’s penis sources reported from Nebraska today. Multiple practitioners at KSH have attempted to penetrate the deep crevices of a local patient Barry A. Trick and place a Foley but all have...
June 7th, 201801“What are the odds! Those are my new admit’s vitals!”
BROOKLYN, NY – In an effort to appeal to health care professionals who order Chinese food for take out because the cafeteria is closed, fortune cookie maker Wonton Food Inc. have decided to replace their beloved set of lotto numbers with a random set of...
May 14th, 201800Drats, we can’t access it without the key!
NEW YORK, NY – Nurse Brad Frohne remains frantic this morning. Yes, it has been more than the average level of busy today but that’s not his main concern. Amidst the barrage of new admissions and the neverending push of call lights, Frohne has misplaced his...
March 6th, 201801ORLANDO, FL – In one of the most selfish acts of which Gomerblog has heard in recent memory, a 72-year-old male patient admitted last night to the 43 med-surg unit of Orlando Medical Center (OMC) had the absolute audacity to code right at 7 PM shift change. Like on the dot.
“I don’t want to speak ill towards the...
February 27th, 201803RALEIGH, NC – It’s one of the those scary scenarios every health care professional has faced at one time or another in their medical career: The box of latex gloves in your size is empty, what do you do? Today medium-handed nurse Erica Farnsworth saw there were no more medium gloves. Did she panic? No. ...
February 12th, 201802Conclusion: It is always better to give than receive.JACKSON HOLE, WY – After observing thousands of signouts over the past 12 months, Gomerblog has constructed a graph depicting the mood of health care professionals depending on their role during the signout process. If there are any exceptions to this, well, those...
February 10th, 201800NEW ORLEANS, LA – Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even phosphorus. Today, however, she took it to another level and unquestionably cemented her legendary nursing career by initiating the ever-so-rare and lesser-known chloride...
January 10th, 201801Wonder Woman responds to a nurse being repressed by a call lightTHEMYSCIRA – After a nurse pleaded for her assistance, Wonder Woman has helped thwart the persistent annoyances of a button-happy patient by using her boomerang tiara to knock the call light out of that evildoer’s hands for good.
“This patient kept pressing...
January 6th, 201801ROCHESTER, MN – Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings found that charting and documentation in an electronic health or medical record (EHR or EMR) increased the risk for deep venous...
January 5th, 201802Patient Amanda Stanley was having a terrible day. Her appendix had ruptured, her hospital gown was unflattering, and she was assigned to a hospital room with a drab view of the parking garage. To make matters worse, there was an intrusive thunderstorm outside. The weather was the final straw.
“Get me my nurse!” she told the...
