PHILADELPHIA, PA—Ms. Roberta Flowers, well-known to Philadelphia General Hospital staff as a gomer, has successfully been treated for “pneumonia” and is ready to be discharged from the medical ward as soon as a bed opens up in the emergency room.
Admitted to the medical unit one week ago after a thorough evaluation of...
Saint Louis, MO – Mr. James Rice originally presented to the John L. McClellan Memorial Veterans Hospital in Saint Louis with shortness of breath last Tuesday, but he was found to have a pulseless left foot upon arrival. What happened next is unthinkable.
It was a crowded evening at the John L. McClellan Memorial Veterans Hospital...
WORLD 3-2 – It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt to find 1-Up mushrooms and bank some extra lives, Super Mario has shattered all 27 bones in his left hand.
“It’s not good, it feels like a bag of worms, a term that’s okay when...
PORTLAND, OR – In what is certainly a breath of fresh air, an ER physician was pleasantly surprised to discover that her patient wasn’t a poor historian; in fact, she was a very rich historian, full of incredible details. In fact, she might be the best historian in the history of medicine.
“She gave the best history I...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR) will now require prior authorization.
The prevailing reaction to this news is best captured by a local critical care physician at George Washington...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In breaking news that will infinitely complicate the already difficult process of attempting to resuscitate a patient, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (or CPR) will now require prior authorization.
The prevailing reaction to this news is best captured by a local critical care physician at George Washington...
DURHAM, NC – Acknowledging they were within the 4.5-hour window since symptom onset and had no other clear alternatives, a Code Team at Duke University Hospital pushed tPA in the hopes of lysing the clogged staff bathroom on the fifth floor.
“Things looked dire. Nurses, doctors on the floor thought of, tried...
BALTIMORE, MD – A first-year medical student at The Hoppin’ Johns University is struggling to place a woman’s cervix into a C-collar this morning.
“You plan to do what with that?” asked patient Heather Hansard, unclear if she had heard the student correctly.
“This is called a cervical collar, so it...
DANBURY, CT – A patient at Danbury Medical Center was admitted for chest pain rule out after he was complaining of a toy stuffed elephant sitting on his chest.
“It’s my daughter’s elephant and, sure, it looks cozy and cute, but man, it’s a beast when it’s sitting on your chest,” explained...
DALLAS, TX – New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line treatment of symptomatic bradycardia.
“Last year, a pivotal study found that Megadeth’s Rust in Peace was superior to atropine in patients with hemodynamically unstable...
