ATLANTA, GA – In a charitable moment, obstetrician Dr. Vah J. Jay has agreed to read everyone’s birth plans.* Want your baby born via an unmedicated water birth? She’ll read that in your birth plan, and then tell you no. Want to defuse vitamin K for your new bundle of joy? Dr. Jay will acknowledge your wishes, then tell you “no freaking way.” Want the lights dimmed with minimal exams during delivery? Your OB will read items 4-6, and still proceed with bright lights and frequent cervical exams.
Dr. Jay tells GomerBlog, “We are tired of everyone accusing us of not listening to mothers, and taking their ridiculous concerns seriously. So once a year, we will finally read those mind-numbing birth plans. The ones that question our extensive training, experience, and competence because pregnant woman ‘read something on the internet.’ We will then ignore every single request.”
Expectant mothers arriving tomorrow feeling extra emotional and vulnerable appreciate this special acknowledgement. Meghan tells GomerBlog, “When we spend 40 weeks perfecting our birth plan, it’s nice to know our doctor will glance at it.”
*Two-page limit. Seriously. We’re not saints. And go call your mother, who survived that fourth-degree laceration you gave her, and still loves you.
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